life like wildfire

All semester, I've been keeping track of peculiar and funny moments in my phone.

Some of these are things I might be shot for making public/reminding people of, but since this is a blog that, to my knowledge, has one reader [me], I will clean out my phone here. Enjoy!

Gracie: "I want a pet chicken"

Bailey: "But your favorite food is chicken."

Gracie: "No it's not, it's people!"

JulieS: "I am wearing khaki pants, do you THINK I sell drugs?"

Girl in Mexican restaurant: "Did you know that the holocaust was when Hitler killed the Jews? Isn't that SAD??"

Friend: "Woah! What'd they do?"

GiMR: "Nothing! That's why it's sad!"

Gracie: "Hey Mandi, want a band aid?"

Mandi: "Ewh! Grace, yuck"

Gracie: "No it's ok, it's old, i haven't used it in like... A year!"

Leah: "Maybe that's how I'll get super powers... if malaria and herpes combine"

Abby: "Once, I thought I made up a new word by combining pansy and wussy... then I Tweeted it. I thought I was being funny and clever"

JulieS: "Do you want to go to the feeding trough of Mellers to put food in your bellers?"

Talking about weighted grades:

[person]: "well gym doesn't carry more weight"

Jesse: "I carry more weight because I didn't go to gym!"

Dr. Mrs. Waters: "Have any of you ever done any sculpting before?"

Taylor: "I made a Yoda statue in third grade"

Faith: "Mine's very similar to that, I made a Stormtrooper my senior year"

Gracie: "Hey Bailey, do you like people with dark skin or light skin?"

Bailey: "Um, I like them both."

Gracie: "No, you can only choose one! It's a game!"

Beka: "I would be Pippin... or Legolas... I'd be Pippin and Legolas combined! I'm Pipolas!"

JulieS: "This sounds like the start of a really bad fanfiction."

Madi: "I think this will help the athletic and boy-type people"

Mikaela: "you have a girlish figure"

Jesse: "are you calling me fat?"

JulieM: "Jared, your concubine loves you!"

Faith: "I am NOT his concubine!"

Jared: "Why not? Corey's my concubine."

Faith: "That's disgusting."

Jared: "No, it's a new-covenant thing. We're friends! That's what concubine means!"

Faith: "....that is NOT what concubine means."

Leanna: "There is no other song, under Canada, given among men, by which we may make references."

Taylor: "I've never snorted anything before... except drugs."

Jesse: "If you barbecued a shoe and didn't tell me it was a shoe, I'd probably eat it. So don't trust me on taste."

Mom: "What's the highest number named?"
Bailey: "I'm not sure I think a google"
Mom: "What comes before that?"
Grace: "www dot and then dot com"

Mandi: "People on Facebook keep using too big of words that I don't understand! Like, nostalgia. And Ron Paul."

Jesse: "You could put the ice cream in a bowl."

JulieS: "But then I wouldn't get a cone."

Jesse: "You can put the cone on top! Then it's be an upside-down ice cream cone, and you can post it on Pinterest, and you'd get a like or something"

Gracie: "When a guy wants to be rich, he has to think 'I want to be rich!' then read a book about being rick, and when he grows up, he'll have a lot of money! Also, he has to care about the laaaaaaadies"

While watching Independence Day:

Joe: "We need some jumpsuits, cigars, and a desert."

Taylor: "I can be the desert"

Jesse: "They told us we could eat after the show, so I brought some to-go boxes from my room and took a pound of beef and an entire cake."

JulieS: "I have concluded that Ariel was both Adam and Eve."

Comforting Beth after someone jokingly called her a ho:

Leanna: "...you have pure eyes, and pure hair, and a pure nose, and pure sleeves, and pure cleavage... you have pure cleavage!"

Mandi: "Isn't there a kind of fish that climb trees?"
Grace: "Apples grow on trees."
Mandi: "Fish don't GROW on trees, they just climb them to eat the apples!"

JulieM: "You can't hate God!"

Beka: "Oh yeah I can! Especially when he's black and has weird freckles!"

JulieM: "What if you get to Heaven and Jesus is black and has freckles?"

Beka: "Well He still wouldn't be Morgan Freeman!"

Grace: "Aunie! did you get any A's?"
Me: "Yes, I got some A's"
Grace: "What about B? did you get a B?"
Me: "Yeah, I got a B too"
Grace, with a look of horror on her face and a dramatic gasp: "WHAT?! NO!"